why zelda is so important to me

 this isn't the highly anticipated "why link is trans" essay, but it's closely related.

i started playing my first zelda game (ocarina) in march 2020 and finished it in may 2020. i was not very good at it at all but i had fun and that's what matters or whatever.

after ocarina i played probably 2/3 of majora's mask and someday i will go back and finish it but the stupid stone tower temple boss was such a pain in the ass i had to give up for my sanity. and then in mid august i played breath of the wild for the first time. oh my god. i will never play a game that will come close to what playing botw for the first time was like for me and if i do ill just be able to die right after because ill be the happiest person on earth. part of the reason it was so special was because i was playing it with hayden on his switch, but that's just a small part. i don't want to get ahead of myself and talk about stuff i want to touch on in the link is trans post but lets say botw is also special to me because i have never seen a male character with a body like mine in ANY media besides that game.

since then i have also played twilight princess and like 3/5 of wind waker which i am still slowly working through. but every zelda game i've played i've been able to connect to and project onto link so easily. he's kind of designed for that as a character–he doesn't talk, so it's easy to imagine that your thoughts are his thoughts. he's also a reincarnation of a kind of spirit i guess, so anyone could be The Hero (obviously the hero doesn't always have to be a blond white boy, but as a blond white boy i can't say i'm not lucky that that's how he's always been portrayed).

imagining myself as link has helped me become more at peace with my identity and the things i can't change about myself. i can't leave my home and my suffocating parents, but i can go off on an adventure in hyrule with no parents to worry about. i can't change the fact that i didn't get to spend my childhood as a little boy, but i can play as kid link and imagine that he's little frankie having his own boy adventures. and testosterone will not change my height, but link is short too.

the stereotypical zelda story also lines up with my life as a trans teenager pretty well. a kid finds out/realizes he has a great destiny and has to go on a perilous journey to fulfill it. being trans and being link are both examples of having greatness thrust upon you, and i would imagine that any reincarnation of link has had moments where he didn't want to be the hero the same way i have moments where i wish i could be anything but trans. neither of us can change that though, so we keep going.

the concept of link holding the triforce of courage has also been something i connect with in my regular life. i get told that i'm brave so often for coming out, transitioning, literally existing and it gets kind of tiring when i can tell someone's saying it because they have nothing else to say. i think that being some kid and finding out you've been blessed with the power of courage from the goddesses is probably similar to that. what makes us so courageous? is it the fact that we just exist? the challenges i face daily are normal to me, they don't make me feel like a hero and i think that link probably feels like that too.

in summary, playing zelda games has given me an outlet to cope with some of the hardest parts of my life. imagining myself as link makes my life a little easier to get through, which is why i try to surround myself with things that make me feel like him. my sheikah slate phone case and master sword tattoo (thank you ellie my love) make me feel good and confident and heroic and i'm trying to move past the urge to call certain interests of mine like zelda "cringe" just because they're like associated with nerd culture or whatever. the legend of zelda is a beautiful media that i am so happy is a part of my life. thank you hayden for getting me into it :)

-frankie